Deep-Fried Beer

 

You can say whatever you will about Texas, the Long-Star state knows how to do some things exactly right- the Texas State Fair is selling Frozen Margaristas and Deep-fried Beer. Both items should appeal to discerning palates ready to get their alcohol in new and exciting ways. 
The deep-fried beer includes comes inside pretzel-pockets- when you bite into the doughy part of the pretzel pocket, beer pops out into your mouth. mmmmmmmmm. http://www.khou.com/news/Booze-done-better-State-Fair-to-feature-deep-fr... The Frozen Margaritas are not usual either- the frozen margarita mix is combined with funnel-cake batter containing standard Margarita ingredients and sprinkled with lemon, making for what I presume is a very unusual taste and sensation. 
The unusual alcohol/fried foods are not the only entries in the Texas State Fair's  fried food category. Other entries in the competition included deep-fried chocolate and Frito Pie- probably both delicious, but maybe not quite as exciting as an actual pretzel with beer inside. 
I don't know what kind of beer was used inside the pretzel pocket- maybe a Bud Lite- nor do I know what special ingredients were used in the Frozen Margarita funnel-cake concoction. I am guessing the ingredients will be kept a secret until the winner is found. Likewise, I am convinced that the combination of booze and fried food will win out over the more traditional fried foods for their novelty alone. 

You can say whatever you will about Texas, the Lone-Star state knows how to do some things exactly right- the Texas State Fair is selling Frozen Margaristas and Deep-fried Beer. Both items should appeal to discerning palates ready to get their alcohol in new and exciting ways. 


The deep-fried beer comes inside pretzel-pockets- when you bite into the doughy part of the pretzel pocket, beer pops out into your mouth. Mmmmmmmmm.  The Frozen Margaritas are not usual either- the frozen margarita mix is combined with funnel-cake batter containing standard Margarita ingredients and sprinkled with lemon, making for what I presume is a very unusual taste and sensation. 


The unusual alcohol/fried foods are not the only entries in the Texas State Fair's fried food category. Other entries in the competition included deep-fried chocolate and Frito Pie- probably both delicious, but maybe not quite as exciting as an actual pretzel with beer inside. 


I don't know what kind of beer was used inside the pretzel pocket- maybe a Bud Lite- nor do I know what special ingredients were used in the Frozen Margarita funnel-cake concoction. I am guessing the ingredients will be kept a secret until the winner is found. Likewise, I am convinced that the combination of booze and fried food will win out over the more traditional fried foods for their novelty alone. 

 

Munich Beer Pitcher Set - Sears

Get hammered in style with the Munich Beer Pitcher Set for only $13.49 from Sears. I know what your thinking: "Sears is still around? What is this 1975?" and the newer, hipper, Sears does not appreciate it. They are still offering some great deals that I think everyone should take advantage of - like this 7-piece beer and pitcher set. It includes 6 17.5-ounce pilsner-style glasses and one 90-ounce glass pitcher for all your drinking needs: beer, rubbing alcohol, mojitos - I think this would be great with some Sangria, too!

You can pick it up in store free - or have it shipped to your home for a small fee. I personally think that it really depends on how close one is to you. If you are way out in the sticks it might be worth it to jsut have this shipped - seeing as gas is so pricey - but, if there is a Sears nearby you are much better off just going and picking it up.

You can set this little baby up for a Holiday party, a small get together, BBQ, the weekly card game, or if you like - a drunk night at home by yourself (remembering all the good times you used to have). I think that for the price you really cant do a whole lot better. Not a drinker? Well I am sure you know someone outside of your AA meetings that could use this. It would make a great gift for that one alcoholic we all know and love. And, get this - you can use it to drink other things that are non-alcoholic as well! I don't know a lot about that, personally, but I guess you could drink Tang or whatever people who don't drink like to enjoy - I am no expert on things of that nature though.

If you know someone who is just starting college during this "back to school" season this would be a great gift that will show them you care. Kids who are in college love to get stuff they can break during a midterm bender.  I know I was personally always thrilled to get stuff that could be used for booze before I became of legal drinking age. Although, I was always under the impression that the legal age was like 11, and seeing as nobody corrected me I have  a huge collection of drinking paraphernalia now - but this another I am going to add to my collection!

So live on the wild side and get your Munich Beer Pitcher Set today!

Executive 2 Button Sportcoat - JoS. A. BANK

Do you have a big interview, or perhaps a social event that requires being well dressed (wedding, funeral, court appearance)? Well you are in luck because you can get the Executive 2 Button Sportcoat- Light Olive Tic Check for only $39.50 at JoS. A. BANK. This clearance Sportcoat features a smart 2-Button appearance, is fully lined, with soft shoulders and center vent and is 100% Wool. This is a "fancy" Dry Clean only item (that you should not wash) and it was imported (from where I don't know). As of this posting there are sizes 40 - 48 (long and regular) available. The original cost for this Sportcoat was $395 - so this clearance item is a real bargain - it is like 90% off! I have ties that are more expensive!

If you are able to pick up a few other items while you are on the site, and can get your total to $175, then your shipping is free otherwise it depends on where the item is being shipped to. This item may or may not be available for the same price at physical locations.

You know, I am a huge fan of JoS. A. BANK - for a few reasons but mostly because they are heavily discounted in comparison to my other favorite store Brooks Brothers and the quality is roughly the same. In fact, I probably could not tell a JoS. A. BANK item from a Brooks Brothers one if I had to - they look very much the same. If you ever get a chance to shop in store the experience is even quite similar - very good customer service.

This Sportcoat could even look great if you do not have to be at an event where you should dress up. I am a big fan of the laid back 'coat and jeans look that is so popular in urban areas around the fall time. There is something so appealing to me about the combination of jeans, tshirt, and sportcoat - it is so 2005ish, at least in regards to being fashionable (rich dot com business owners have been doing it forever), and I suppose that was a really great year for me.

If you are questioning whether you really need this it could also be a great gift idea for that special man (or pre/post-op FTM) in your life. This coat is a way better idea than a tie -  trust me!

So what are you waiting for? This deal is not going to buy itself!

Mai-Tais

The Mai-Tai was supposedly invented in 1944, at the Trader Vic's restaurant in Oakland, California, for friends who were visiting from Tahiti. Maita'i is the Tahitian word for "good," said to be the verdict of the visitors upon tasting the new cocktail. An alternate origin story attributes the invention to Don the Beachcomber, of the Beachcomber bar in Hollywood, in 1945. The garden variety Mai-Tai is made with rum, orange-flavored Curaçao liqueur, and lime juice, and garnished with a piece of fresh pineapple, and a maraschino cherry. But with the rise of Tiki bars, and tourist travel to Fiji, Tahiti, and Hawai'i, the Mai-Tai has become the archetypal Tiki drink, without or without an umbrella.

With the popular resurgence of Tiki bars and Tiki culture (complete with brightly colored shirts, rum drinks and ethnic art) the Mai-Tai has been reborn. But along with the burgeoning interest in the Mai-Tai, there's been a passionate movement to return to the Official Sacred Trader Vic's Mai-Tai recipe. Devotees of the traditional Mai-Tai are issuing fiats forbidding orange or pineapple juice. To the purist, the Original Sacred Trader Vic Mai-Tai consists of high quality aged rum, orange Curaçao, simple syrup/rock candy syrup, fresh lime juice, and an almond syrup called orgeat, served on the rocks in (for the traditionalists) a highball glass, and garnished with a gently bruised sprig of fresh mint.

There are a number of Mai-Tai recipes; all of them are better for avoiding poor quality rum and pre-made mixes. I'm a firm believer in avoiding flavored rums for Mai-Tais, and using a mixture of aged (twelve years or more) light and dark rum. I will confess that I am partial to an otherwise traditional Mai-Tai with light and dark rum, Curaçao, freshly squeezed lime juice, orgeat, and a garnish made with a chunk of fresh locally grown pineapple from Maui, and a sprig of fresh mint. For the traditionalist, here's a super video of Martin Cate, owner of the San Francisco Tiki bar Smuggler's Cove making a very traditional Mai-Tai. The Royal Hawaiian Hotel in Waikiki uses orange juice in their Mai-Tai version; the Trader Vic's version is here. For those of you interested in bulk Mai-Tai creation, here's a Mai-Tai recipe using fresh ingredients that makes a gallon (but that does use orange juice, so purists, consider yourself warned).

Photo credit: Hawaiian style Mai-Tai by duluoz cats.

St. Germain: A Flower, For Remembrance

Recently there has been an increase in the demand in America for unusual bar ingredients. Bitters are coming back in a big way, as are various anisette-style herbal liqueurs and various European tinctures that haven't left their arrondisements for ages. One such French oddity is St. Germain, a sweet liqueur made of elderflower, among other things. This stuff has been popping up in more and more Stateside bars and liquor stores every month, and with good reason. There's something special about St. Germain, aside from the fact that it's likely the only yellow bottle on the shelf aside from that perennial misfit, Galliano.

The people who market St. Germain would have us believe that every individual elderflower that becomes the liqueur is hand-picked by some careful French farmer and taken to some idyllic Alpine town on an old bicycle for processing. The true story has more to do with quickly harvesting as many flowers as possible during the Spring peak, which lasts a little less than a month. Elderflower is far from rare, so it's really just a matter of getting enough plants and macerating them in neutral grape spirit before they experience the same fragrance-dulling fate of all picked flowers. I don't really mind the mythos of St. Germain. Honestly, I'd rather the stuff be at least a little mass-produced, lest the price of a bottle climb from roughly $35 to the unkind heft of anything brewed in small batches.

Like other old concoctions, such as Lillet and Fernet, St. Germain is a liqueur with a more respectable flavor than most of the stuff called "liqueur" we're used to drinking. It's not as sweet or syrupy, plus it gets its body from distilled wine rather than from neutral grain spirits. This gives St. Germain a fuller, warmer mouth and a grapey undertone that pairs well with the floral top note.

But there's something else about St. Germain that I've come to appreciate. It's utterly subjective and it takes its appeal from a personal sense-memory, but that doesn't make it any less valid. In short, St. Germain tastes like a synagogue.

The first time I ever tasted St. Germain I knew I recognized the flavor, I just didn't know from where. It took me a while to realize it was lighting up those parts of my brain that recall things from childhood; subtle, almost forgotten things. Synagogues, generally speaking, smell like a combination of carefully-handled prayer books, sweet wine, lit candles and clean fabric. They also usually sport the unmistakable scent of fresh challah bread, a rich, egg-washed bread with a golden-brown crust and fluffy, somewhat cakey interior. This unique melange is almost exactly reproduced in St. Germain, however accidental that may be.

Drinking St. Germain straight, like any liqueur, is fine but occasionally too cloying. This in mind, I've devised a simple cocktail to bring out its flavors without ruining its unintentional Judaic tones. Hit a few cubes of ice with a good sweet vermouth, 1.5 ounces of clean gin and a half ounce of St. Germain, shake and serve with a plum or pluot garnish. If you feel like it, say a little prayer over it before the first sip.

Cucumber Melon Sangria Blanca

Okay, so what is classier than box wine? Making a delicious, expensive sounding, Sangria out of that box wine! Here's what you need to do:

To start you need a lot of wine, preferably the cheapest wine you can get in a large amount (like everyone's college favorite FRANZIA). This wine should have a really simple taste to it - you do not need any of that fancy "oaky flavor" grape-named wine - in fact the cheaper it is the better. Seeing as this is Sangria Blanca you want the wine to be white.

We need a vessel (or a few vessels) for this magical summer elixer so grab a punch bowl or some other large liquid-holding container you can find.

Next you need a cucumber - wash it off and slice thin (1/4 - 1/2 inch slices) sections, set the sections to the side (in a clean area!), or in the (clean!) vessel. If you place them in the container you wiill use you will save yourself some extra clean up so this is the best option. You do not need to "peel" the cucumber - but you may if you prefer.

After that you need a cantaloupe - peel it, and cut some nice medium (bite sized) chunks. Throw them in with the cucumber.

If you have any other fruit in your fridge, you know the stuff that you bought because you're trying to be healthy but havent eaten and its getting old, chop some of that up and throw it in too. This isn't science and you can add whatever you like - just make sure the Cucumber and Melon are more visible so you can call it Cucumber Melon Sangria Blanca without questions from your judgemental friends and neighbors.

See what nearly empty bottles of booze you have left from your bender last week, or go over to Lindsay Lohans' house and you're bound to find something we can use as the kicker to this summer of love beverage. Set the booze aside (or if your at Lindsays house try to sneak out and avoid kicking around all the empty bottles and waking her up)

We will also need something to sweeten the mixture - you can use honey, simple syrup, sugar, sugar in the raw (the ones you stole from Starbucks ... err pocketed to add to your drink later are fine). If it's sweet it's in! You want about 1/8 - 1/4 cup of whatever you you decide on  - yes you can use more if you want, IDC (I Don't Care for those of you who are not hip to internet speak).

Then... and this is the best part ... mix it all up! Let it all soak together overnight (in the fridge) before serving so the flavors all blend together and it is nice and chilled, 24 hours is preferred. You just found this recipe and your party is in an hour? Whatever, it's totally fine and its alcohol so nobody will care as long as its free and looks good, let it chill for an hour then - but the longer it sits the better it tastes.

After all of your hard work and waiting you can finally consume it! Voila! Your an instant beverage celebrity and everyone will want you to make your secret "low cal and healthy sounding" ©®™ beverage for their parties. You might even finally get laid - by someone willing - and Lindsay doesn't count because she was passed out!

 

Love and Fear for Rum and Cola

I'm a firm believer in the idea that drinks have personality. Whether lone spirits or mixes, potables have idiosyncratic qualities just like people. As such, a lot of my opinions about drinks have more to do with whether or not I like them as people than how they actually taste. Take absinthe, for instance. I'm not a fan of the flavor of anise but I don't have many disparaging things to say about the green fairy. It does what it's supposed to do and doesn't apologize for its quirkiness. Like a man who's too old to change his ways, absinthe dresses, talks and believes how and what it wants, modern conventions be damned. I have a great amount of respect for the martini for being both bold and refined, a long-lived professional of a cocktail that continues to be the sharpest guy in the room without doing anything flashy. So, when I say that I both love and fear the rum and cola, know that it comes from a place of both experience and contemplation.

First of all, I'm of the opinion that the mix shouldn't be called by its brand name, Rum and Coke. If Coca-Cola was somehow irreplaceable in the recipe I'd feel different but there's no real reason why it has to be one kind of cola or another. The point of rum and cola is to use the syrupy sweetness of the soda to alleviate the burn of the rum. And honestly, the distinct flavors of the rum itself tend to cover up any minor notes that distinguish one cola from another. Really, that's a big part of why rum and cola is a sinister drink. First, it basically makes a potent cocktail out of something that tastes like a rum-flavored soft drink. Second, the lack of appreciable taste difference makes the rum and cola one of the cheapest cocktails imaginable because the two strongest flavors in it can be achieved with the least expensive ingredients possible. Is there a difference between a top-shelf rum mixed with Coke Classic and a well rum mixed with generic store-brand cola? Maybe, just not enough to matter. Cheap cocktails incentivize mass consumption, ergo drunkenness.

All of the above makes rum and cola unbelievably easy to drink, but there's another layer beyond how pleasant it is to just swallow the stuff. Unless you're using caffeine-free cola, your cocktail has the rare opportunity to hit your body with both a depressant and a stimulant simultaneously. Unfortunately (or fortunately) the two psychoactive components of the drink don't compete or cancel each other out. Rather, they work together to have mostly separate but equal effects. The alcohol does its usual work of lowering inhibitions, reducing nerve uptake and slowing cognition while the caffeine keeps the drinker awake, jittery and, most importantly, pursuing more stimulants. In short, it's addictive behavior minus a superego.

I personally witnessed the ugly side of the rum and soda in my early days as a bartender. Working the late shift at a dive, one of my regulars made it a habit of knocking back Captain Morgan and Coke like it was... well, exactly what it is: A sweet, deceptively potent cocktail without the prohibitive burn of liquor. Whether it resulted in him dropping glasses and stumbling home come last call or picking fights with patrons and staff, this rum and cola enthusiast ended every night in the saddest states of alcoholism. Was the rum and cola to blame for his addiction? Absolutely not, but it did let him drink more and longer than other cocktails would have. I enjoy the drink and I'd recommend it to anyone who enjoys the ingredients, but that recommendation comes with a word of caution. Rum and cola is a dangerous drink.

The Importance of Staying Hydrated

Hydration really isn’t a laughing matter. Once my aunt, whom we live with and care for, got so hydrated that she began to get sick. When I told her she needed to drink more water, she didn’t drink much more, and had to see her doctor. Her brother and sister then came to take her to their home to monitor her liquid drinking so they wouldn’t have to hospitalize her, and it was a scary couple of days.

So you’d think that I would have learned how important it is—but not so! This past weekend was our annual family reunion, which we usually hold in the spring. This year we had people ask to hold it in the summer since it’s been so much colder in the spring, but unfortunately it was so hot we were all sweltering. We managed to stay relatively comfortable with water guns (which I called “squirters,” since I can’t stand guns—not that it helped much!), ice cubes, drinks, and cold towels wrapped around some of our necks.

While I chased after my four-year-old with my husband and managed to make sure she was well-hydrated, fed, sun-blocked and bug-blocked, I neglected to do so myself. As a result, I got very weak, very crabby, and very sick. And bile-puke is so much worse than food-puke for me; it’s so bitter and comes in such gasping heaves that—well, I’m sure you didn’t want that mental picture to begin with.

The point is that it’s not fun, and it’s certainly not healthy, to become dehydrated. As a result of my stupidity, I missed out on several important things—including some scheduled work time and two dates I’ve been looking forward to—a friend’s birthday and dinner reservations with my husband—for weeks. To avoid dehydration in the future, here are some tips that I will definitely heed (please feel free to heed along with me):

  • Drink plenty of fluids. I had a bit of iced tea and half a wine cooler for the whole day—not good at all! Water is definitely best when it comes to staying hydrated, and juice and sports drinks can help as well. Just don’t rely on tea, alcohol, soda, or coffee to help you stay hydrated because they’re diuretics designed to help you lose, not retain, water.
  • Drink on schedule. Even if you don’t feel thirsty or if you think you’re too busy—which was my own problem—you still need to drink regularly, especially while outside in the heat. The rule of thumb is to drink before you are even thirsty—which should be every 20 to 30 minutes. This may be more often if you are outside.
  • And it’s pretty much that simple! Dehydration is especially dangerous for people with diabetes, children, and the elderly, so be sure to keep yourself and your loved ones nice and hydrated all year long.

Man Pees in Cups, Then Leaves Cups on Bar- Classy!

We have all heard the questionable statistic about how many different types of urine can be found in bar nuts, but THIS STORY from America’s strangest state in the nation fricking takes the absolute cake. A Brazilian student, Adolofo Mosmann, in Florida allegedly peed into two cups and put the urine on a bar counter.

MMMMMMM? I don’t think so. Gross.

 What could he possibly have been thinking? The bar had restrooms and I’m sure that if the bar was occupied, there must have been a street or vacant lot in the vicinity where he could have urinated in a little more socially more acceptable place, but he chose to instead to pee right there and leave the urine on the bar counter as a generous tip for the bartender. Lucky.

I understand from the report that he was intoxicated and probably drunk as shit (or pee), but I’m not sure that this is normal. Is it really a good idea to jeopardize your student visa for the questionable joys of public urination by grossing out an entire drinking establishment?

Doubtful.

Was he confused? Was he under the delusion that he was giving a urine sample at the bar for medical purposes? Perchance some hot chick demanded a urine sample for medical testing for STDs? Or maybe he was angry about the service that he received from the staff, didn’t like Florida, or possibly just wanted a reason to escape the US?

Whatever his rationale was, Adolofo Mosmann attempted to re-enter the bar after being kicked out of the bar.  Although he was wearing a different shirt, the bar staff was still able to identify him and called the police on the 22-year-old student for trespassing the premises of the House of Blues Club, which is located near Disneyworld.

The story about the urine from Orlando has spread quickly across the Internet and discussion boards- the best comments I’ve seen relating to the story were actually on a Conservative Political Forum- one man told the story of an old high school friend accidentally drinking urine and another forum member had a great line about the strange story:
“It seems like someone got pissy about his urinating in cups......”

And, as a word of caution to any college students out there who may be reading this story, don’t get any bright ideas.

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