I turned up the alley on my way home last Friday night, and encountered a small group of obviously drunk people standing around awkwardly while one of the party leaned up against the wall of the building and threw up.
So I started thinking about "good drinking" . . . versus, you know, the other kind of drinking: out of control, bad-things-happen, sick-as-a-dog-for-three-days-afterwards drinking.
This isn't going to be a lecture. For one thing, I drink. I really like to drink, in fact. It occurs to me, though, that we don't really teach young people how to drink, stay safe and sane, and pace themselves. At least, we don't seem to teach it very well, because there are all too many of those young people out roaming around downtown on weekends, blind, stinking drunk, who may or may not remember their misadventures when they sober back up. It's actually pretty easy to take a few simple steps to make sure you stay safe, enjoy the party, get home in one piece, and don't feel like toxic waste the morning after:
- Arrange a designated driver. This really should go without saying, at this point, right? It's not cool to drive buzzed. Don't do it. Don't get killed, don't kill anyone else, just because you're out partying. 'Nuff said?
- Eat something substantial before you go out. You know, like a meal. If there's food available at the club or party you attend, nibble fairly constantly throughout the evening, too. You don't have to eat a lot of volume, but grazing fairly steadily will help you pace yourself.
- Speaking of pacing yourself, alternate alcohol with water, pop, coffee, or some other non-alcoholic beverage. It's cheaper, for one thing, but alternating also lets you maintain a fun level of feeling-the-effects without being out of control, embarrassingly blotto, and ending up puking in some alley on your way home. It's also going to help counter the dehydrating effects of the alcohol you're consuming—and that's going to make the morning after much, much more tolerable.
- Develop a technique to keep track of how much you've had. There's a cop joke about how no matter how drunk a driver is, they've all only had "a couple of beers." So work out a simple strategy for keeping count, and stick to it. If you drink mixed drinks, for example, you can save your straws. Beers? Fine. Peel the labels off the bottles. Any method simple enough that you can still actually count once you're impaired.
- Drink decent alcohol. Seriously. I know it costs a little more, but it's absolutely worth the money spent on decent beer that doesn't list "formaldehyde" as one of its ingredients. If cocktails are your thing, then acquaint yourself with the flavors of different brands. You'll have a better time, you'll enjoy the act of drinking more, and you'll very likely feel better, after.
- Don't mix. For real. Shots and beers? Fine. But don't switch from tequila to Jack Daniels to Jägermeister in the course of a single evening. You'll only be sorry, and very, very messed up and ill.
- Drink a lot of water when you get home. Take a bottle of water to bed, too, so when you wake up thirsty you can drink even more. Alcohol is dehydrating, remember? You'll want to counter those effects.